You are louder than a thunderstorm.
You're the reason we can't leave the house.
You're the baby vomit on my just washed blouse.
You're a screaming alarm in the late afternoon,
You're more annoying than the mosquitos in June.
You're a shaky hand, dispensing mylicon drops.
You're an anxious mother, dreamin' of Wife Swaps.
You're the 13th repetition of an annoying lullaby.
You're the reason I randomly start to cry.
You're a promise of "three months and you'll be fine"
You're the reason why babysitters resign.
You're the earplugs we won't admit to.
You're a martini and prozac, I'll take two!
You're the need for a bouncy chair, a pacifier, a moby, and swing.
You're the winning argument for children after wedding bells ring.
You're a mystery to mothers,
You're colic.
You're a screaming alarm in the late afternoon,
You're more annoying than the mosquitos in June.
You're a shaky hand, dispensing mylicon drops.
You're an anxious mother, dreamin' of Wife Swaps.
You're the 13th repetition of an annoying lullaby.
You're the reason I randomly start to cry.
You're a promise of "three months and you'll be fine"
You're the reason why babysitters resign.
You're the earplugs we won't admit to.
You're a martini and prozac, I'll take two!
You're the need for a bouncy chair, a pacifier, a moby, and swing.
You're the winning argument for children after wedding bells ring.
You're a mystery to mothers,
you're a myth to all others.
You're colic.
hahahaha omg hilarious but kind of sad at the same time :( im so sorry hunny i know it must be bad!!! (and yet that is lack of a better word) ,But just like your poem said "3 months and you'll be fine" . Lets hope thats actually true and not another one of the millionth wives tales! i love you V!
ReplyDeleteps i loved the part of the martini and prozac! :)
i think the "three months and you'll be fine" is just like "breastfeed and you'll lose your baby weight"... a lie...but we'll see. Good luck with the interview!
ReplyDeleteVanya,
ReplyDeleteMy sympathies. I went through this with my second. My mother kept saying "You'll see. He'll be your sweeter child." I replied, through tears by the way, that she was just saying that so I didn't kill him.
He is pretty sweet, by the way.
Hang in there. Come visit the store this weekend.
Eileen
@Eileen hah! you're so funny...by the way, did it really end at 3 months? I'm hoping it's true but the book also had a footnote that said it wasn't true for preterm babies...such a letdown! I'm trying to focus on keeping a sense of humor because it really is just too much at times. I keep trying to make it to the store early on Saturdays, but Max is no help. This week will be the week I hope. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid it was closer to four months for my guy. But at three months I just starting pretending that it was over. I was in complete denial.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get through it, but it is awful, no doubt about it.
I'd love to see you, but I do know how hard it is to get out. It WILL get better. That I am sure of.
Take care.